"Some people think God does not like to be troubled with our constant coming and asking. The way to trouble God is not to come at all."
- DL Moody
Today's Mass Readings*:
Please make and take the time to reflect on the Word of God today. Or better yet, go to mass to commune with the Lord. :)
First reading: Numbers 12:1-3
Miriam and Aaron challenge Moses
1Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman he had married
2and they said, "Has Yahweh only spoken through Moses? Has he not also spoken through us?" And Yahweh heard them.
3Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than any man on the face of the earth.
[Wow! Don't you think it's really amazing how a great man of the faith like Moses is "a very humble man, more humble than any man on the face of the earth"? This is something that strikes me each and every time I read this passage from the Holy Bible.
Once upon a time, I've asked the Lord to make me humble, to teach me the value of humility. I said this prayer in sincerity many years ago. Now I believe God always hears our prayers; and I believe that from that moment on He has not stopped sending people and circumstances to teach me humility. Take for example the man I married. I am an honor student at a prestigious university here in our province. Not that it matters but wouldn't you think that I would marry someone who was also smart? Who was more than what I was - more smart, more successful, etc.? But the opposite happened. I married a guy who is not an honor student, a guy who was not smart at all.. :) I don't know how you might view this but I believe this happened because God wanted me to stay humble. By having a guy like my husband, I believe, God wants me to keep my feet on the ground, to be humble because I did not marry a successful businessman or the like. :) I love my husband dearly and we've been through a lot together. I am proud of him not because of any awards or achievements, I am proud of him because he is a wonderful guy who loves me and our daughter and is my perfect complement - he is patient while I am not; he is a social guy while I am not. :) And with each and every day, my belief in God is strengthened by the gift of my husband's presence in my life. And so I say, thank you, Lord! You are truly amazing! I love you! :)]
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 51:3-7, 12-13
Have mercy on me Lord. "Let us admit our sin before the God of truth. Our humiliation will not be without hope, since we know God is able to give us a new heart."
3Have mercy on me, O God, in your love. In Your great compassion blot out my sin.
4Wash me thoroughly of my guilt; cleanse me of evil.
5 For I acknowledge my wrongdoings and have my sins ever in mind.
6 Against You alone have I sinned; what is evil in your sight I have done.
You are right when you pass sentence and blameless in Your judgment.
7For I have been guilt-ridden from birth, a sinner from my mother's womb.
12Create in me, O God, a pure heart; give me a new and steadfast spirit.
13Do not cast me out of Your presence nor take Your Holy Spirit from me.
[This is a really beautiful psalm, in my opinion. Today, it mirrors my prayers perfectly.
See my prayer today in this post. :)]
Gospel Reading: Matthew 14:22-36
Jesus walks on the water
22Immediately Jesus obliged his disciples to get into the boat and go ahead of him to the other side, while he sent the crowd away.
23And having sent the people away, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. At nightfall, he was there alone.
24Meanwhile, the boat was very far from land, dangerously rocked by the waves for the wind was against it.
25At daybreak, Jesus came to them walking on the lake.
26When they saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, thinking that it was a ghost. And they cried out in fear.
27But at once Jesus said to them, "Courage! Don't be afraid. It's me!"
28Peter answered, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you walking on the water."
29Jesus said to him, "Come." And Peter got out of the boat, walking on the water to go to Jesus.
30But, in face of the strong wind, he was afraid and began to sink. So he cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31Jesus immediately stretched out his hand and took hold of him, saying, "Man of little faith, why did you doubt?"
32As they got into the boat, the wind dropped.
33Then those in the boat bowed down before Jesus saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God!"
34They came ashore at Gennesareth.
35The local people recognized Jesus and spread the news throughout the region. So they brought all the sick to him,
36begging him to let them touch just the fringe of his cloak. All who touched it became perfectly well.
[A priest saying his homily once said that as we focus our attention on Jesus "we can walk on the water", but as our attention shifts to the strong winds, we "begin to sink". Indeed, how true these words are.
If you notice my posts, they stopped on May 18. I just started to write again in this prayer journal today.
Those past months were truly dark for me. I became doubtful of the Lord, which is really bad. I'm not sure if this is a sin but have asked the Lord's forgiveness for this phase of my life.
I became doubtful because I was overwhelmed by all the unending problems that came to my life - at work and in my personal life. I lost my "gana" - or that could be roughly translated as the will or mood - to go on with life. I was always on the verge of shouting, always angry, depressed.. I felt so alone and neglected. Although I kept on looking for God, continued to read the Bible daily, I was falling deeper and deeper into a very dark chasm. I felt hopeless, that things will ever change. In short, I lost all hope. I can tell you it was not something I would want to happen in my life again nor do I want this to happen even to my worst enemies. That's how badly prosecuted I was by the evil one. And I was angry and depressed that God was allowing it to happen. But despite it all, my mind - or maybe it was the Holy Spirit- would remind me time and again how God had always answered my prayers, that everything happened for a reason and in accordance to His most holy will.
I don't know and I'm not sure how it happened but one day, I decided that it was not right. It was not right what I was feeling. I decided it was enough. I decided that this hopelessness had to end now.. And as I struggled to end it, I decided further that I would not fall into hopelessness ever again.
It took me some time to come to the Lord again as I am doing now. My belief that God hears and answers my prayers, that He allows things -the good and the bad- to happen for a reason, and that His Will will always prevail is still strong. Now, I am trying to fix my life, but I am not relying on my own strengths; rather I am looking to God for everything that I need..
In the near future, it is my prayer that I would have a deeper relationship with God, that I would have more personal encounters with Him daily.. Someday, it is my desire to be actively serving in a Catholic community with people who love Him dearly.. Someday, I want to give my all - time, effort and finances - to further His kingdom here on earth. And I am looking forward to seeing this happen soon.. :)]
* The following verses and passages are taken from the Christian Community Bible, Catholic Pastoral Edition by Claretian Publications, St. Pauls.
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